Wonder of wonders, I finished the much anticipated holiday letter before New Year’s. Considering I had the previous excuse of having to write it after flying home from school, right before Santa did, made this year all the more pathetic- because really, what else do I have to do? But when you’re celebrating more than your average number of holidays you suddenly have the ability to latch on to the traditions of any one of them as an excuse. Candle lighting is very time-consuming.

Then there are the distractions I create for myself. While having a very pleasant lunch with my sister, wherein we dissected the strange forces of the universe that cause her to have a harem of men that follow her, we started to wonder what it would be like if she married one of them. She having been the tomboy of our little duo, and me the ‘girly girl’, hypothetical wedding preparations were left up to me. Of course, being the very reasonable wedding planner that I am (or, at any rate, have the potential to be) I let her pick the colors. So the bridesmaids are in jewel tone purple and she is designing her dress on a napkin while I tell her about flower arrangements and try to define organza. Considering that the only thing my sister and I enjoyed doing within each others presence, from age 2 (when she was born) to last summer, was wrestling we had made leaps and bounds. Please spare me the jello references.

True, we have both grown up in a lot of ways- we could hardly help it. And there was some excellent grilled cheese at this lunch that could encourage love between a jewish momma and an anorexic. But happily discussing wedding plans for two hours was rather remarkable for us. As much as I hate to say it, my mother may have been right about the whole “not hating your sibling when you’re older” thing. But only after prolonged absences spanning months in which we are separated by 3000 miles or more. Whatever- her wedding is going to be gorgeous.

The rest of the family is not in quite such happy, grilled cheese graces. There was a Sherlock Holmes debacle and a whole lot of leftover brisket (which I have no problem with) and the realization that the new movie coincidentally has many things in common with the mysteries of Christmas- part of the holiday I am more than slightly less versed in than present and candy procedures. So when hearing the perfect man, living sacrifice, empty tomb, and virgin birth being discussed I, of course, was quick to mention that there probably weren’t any virgins in Sherlock Holmes, and I am sure I would have remembered a birth. Apparently this commentary was not quite Kosher. But very funny for all that.

Mom was so disappointed to have guessed wrong about the contents of a very large box she received, hoping that it was a new set of dishes, that she then proceeded to break the dishes we do have. Good thing there are sales in January.

With the knowledge that even with all of this it was rather a tame holiday I have a new drink to experiment with and a massive caramel apple to make a dent in. Happy Everything!!