Tag: wedding

HoT

Did anyone realize that the abbreviation for my blog is HoT? Because I only just recently came to this realization and in three days this blog will have been around for exactly 5 years!!!!! It started with the stories from my first foray into London. People liked to hear them so much that I finally wrote them down and put them on the internet. And a short half decade (interminably long slog through life) later I have come full circle to this city where all the best things seem to happen.

Though I didn’t manage it right when I landed I did eventually make it to Byron Hamburgers, which is a massive English chain and not exactly exclusive or secret, but they do happen to have the best malted vanilla milkshakes in the whole world. Then, with a milkshake induced smile on my face, I wandered my way over to Kensington Palace and Gardens to offer my congratulations in person that we are going to meet a new baby Cambridge in a few short months. I’m sure they noticed and appreciated it. Scoped out the Orangery and the maze for future outings before a mandatory stroll about Hyde Park. And as I walked past the imperious granite gaze of Queen Victoria in front of the Round Pond with the sun setting behind the trees and rooftops of the palace I experienced this clarifying moment of peaceful rightness. Like a weeble that had finally stopped wobbling; I found my center. And then I took my bus back to Shepherd’s Bush.

I’ve also managed to squeeze in a book event with one of my favorite authors and a wander over to Portobello Road to find something to put on my walls where I had my choice between Scarface movie poster or two hundred year old mounted bird. I decided to keep looking for room decor. I did manage to get lost in the wilds of Notting Hill, but I can’t be all that upset about it when it meant accidentally running into the entire Beckham family. “Oh, that looks like the Beckhams. That is because it is.” And then Romeo tried to do the thing on the scooter that Brooklyn was doing and fell over, and I was a nanny for way too long not to go pick him up and ask if he wanted a band-aid. He was fine and got up with a big grin and then his very polite father said “Thank you, appreciate it.” and pushed Harper along. Victoria even gave me a sort of half smile smirk which I decided meant two British Victoria’s had looked kindly upon my new enterprise.

Any visitor to London has seen the soldiers in front of the royal palaces, with their big bearskin hats, bright red coats, and cloppy black boots. If you have ever wondered what would happen should you cross one of these well postured fellows I will tell you. Some very obnoxious tourists tested the chain boundary today and the guard on duty responded with a very prompt (and loud) “Oi!” and stomped his foot. That’s it. The rest of us, cameras at the ready, were very disappointed not to have witnessed a bayoneting, but it was still very exciting to see the notoriously stoic soldiers do something slightly out of the ordinary. I discovered later that this was the back entrance to Clarence House (the official London residence of the Prince of Wales) and that I missed Prince Harry’s birthday party by mere hours.

A visiting friend had the brilliant idea to visit the BBC broadcast center and, to no one’s surprise (ok, the Chinese tourists were a bit taken aback) I took over the tour. What started out as a nice walk through of the old concert hall and taunting the weather man during his live broadcast turned into a fully mic-ed radio play re-enactment with sound effects. Then I intimidated the tour guide with my television experience and he let me read the in-house news broadcast. If the teleprompter is any indication I really do need to start talking slower. Once I got my media career off on the right foot I took a walk through Regent’s Park and ogled the penguins at the zoo. Then crashed some wedding pictures at Primrose Hill.

Later in the week I hit up every gift shop on The Mall – discovered the art galleries along the way that evidently everyone knew about but me – and revisited one of my favorite places in London, the National Portrait Gallery. If they let me I would sleep in there. I love staring at all those faces, from throughout human history, reading their stories, and making up the bits that are missing or just coming up with better versions in my head.

Soon I’ll actually have to spend my time studying and discussing and writing papers. It should be interesting to have the tables turned again and go back to being a student,  but I’m looking forward to a year of someone else coming up with the lesson plans. And shopping for school supplies. Maybe more the latter. No, definitely the latter. Pens….

Anyway, I’ll keep doing some travel journal posts here and there but I do plan to also keep up with my usual ruminations and stories. And if you want up to the minute news and jokes and things remember to find me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as well as subscribing to the blog.

HoT x

Being a Lady While Being a Lady

There are plenty of things that are perfectly within your realm of control to ensure your perpetual perception as a paragon of class and practical perfection (that was quite a bit of alliteration- I apologize). You can plan your outfits to be weather, event, and circumstantially appropriate. In fact you definitely should, because two out of three of the above is not going to cut it. Your heeled wedges are perfect for the mild summer breezes and the grass at the afternoon outdoor wedding, but if the rustic chic barn is a mile from the freaking parking lot then you will be sweaty and angry with a broken ankle when you make it to cocktail hour. In this situation you should really go with a nice ballet flat and possibly make new friends that realize the wisdom of a shuttle bus.

You can also stock your purse with all of the hydrating mist spray, hand sanitizer, bottle openers, and pens that it will fit. But, first, remember that being that prepared makes for a very heavy bag and sanitizer is not going to help you with imbalanced weight induced scoliosis. It also means it’s really hard to find the things you really do need out of your purse, like keys. Do you really need something else in your bag that possesses the power to explode at an inopportune moment? Pen, paper, and eight tootsie pops are obviously requisite.

woman at work

Then there are the things that we can do nothing about, regardless of all the planning in the world. A door that is too heavy to open when your arms are full of important and precariously balanced papers. Spilling… well there are really an innumerable number of things you can spill. Wardrobe malfunctions. Periods. To continue being a lady in these kinds of scenarios takes commitment and calm. Raging lunatic is not ladylike, solves nothing, and looks good on no one. So put the papers down and then open the door. Asking for help is completely acceptable and is not a threat to global feminism. As for the spilling, a Tide pen should really be one of the pens in your stash- and if you’re like me then a spare shirt is not a bad idea. Wardrobe malfunctions can take many forms but most can be solved with a safety pin, some duct tape, or mole skin. As for periods- do not panic. Assess the crisis, excuse yourself from public interaction, do damage control insofar as you can, and call in reinforcements as necessary.

Maintaining your composure is the real key to being a lady. You are more than anything you have and anything that happens. And there’s always wine.