You can take the girl out of the concert; but actually, you can’t.

While it’s surprising to everyone else when I go to intimate rock concerts by myself I couldn’t be more fine with it. I might go so far as to say it’s actually my thing. I haven’t been to a concert with another person since Jingle Ball 2004 with my dad (Jennifer Love Hewitt and Mariah Carey killed it). The truth is I do a whole lot of things on my own and tend to enjoy them more when I do.

I generally make friends with the bouncers and have a nice, cute and vulnerable vibe that has, more than once, resulted in a personal visit from band members (“Why yes, I’m fine, just don’t want to get caught up in the crowd” blink, blink “Yes I would like to hear your unreleased song in the green room”) Things didn’t go quite that swimmingly this evening, because of very silly responsible concerns like getting home safely, but I was compensated with a spontaneous Christmas jazz performance on the Northern Line. See previous post for further eruptions of Christmas spirit of this sort in London.

Unlike every other concert I’ve been to in my life this one was eighty percent grown men singing along like tweens to Taylor Swift which lended a unique and cool dynamic. And every one was extremely polite. No pushing, no yelling (except that which was encouraged by the band) and not one drink spilled by an unruly passerby. Oh, British people.

xcerts 2014

Everything about the concert was improved by the headliners, The Xcerts, being Scottish. They were also super engaged and grateful and happy to be there, which makes such a big difference. Taking the intimate show vibe one step further, the lead singer switched to an acoustic guitar and sang along with the audience with no mic. The adults shushed each other and we all had a little campfire moment.

Mirrored pillars in the venue lent some sexy mystery as you could covertly watch large beardy men singing along and bopping. Decently priced beer rounded things out nicely, but the highlight of the show was when, realizing everyone knew the words, the band said, “You sing, and I’ll be Tom Petty.” And we did.

Needless to say, I will be going to more concerts while I continue to live in a city. Maybe I’ll even let someone come with me.

Fiscal Responsibility is Sexy

Not everything is about money. There is even a fair argument that money can’t give you any of the things in life worth having: happiness, validation, love. But as long as money is the currency of choice to bring certain material things into your life- shelter, food, one shoulder silk ball gowns and patent leather pumps- we are going to have to pay attention to how we use it.

Like the things it buys, money can very easily disappear if you aren’t aware of how it works and how to use it to your best advantage. It is equal parts tempting and terrifying to imagine yourself in a Becky Bloomwood state of existence, but “overdraft” is a really bad word, and we need to treat it like one.


It sounds glamorous and fabulous to spend money on what you want, when you want it, and there is something luscious about indulging your see, want, have impulses, BUT what is really sexy, and classy, and sophisticated is a credit score over 700. If you budget your income, and don’t spend money that you don’t have then one day you can do awesome things like buy a house and pay off loans for education and business endeavors. And when you use your credit card frequently and responsibly other companies offer you more credit cards, which you don’t even have to use, but having tens of thousands of dollars of credit available to you does allow for some pretty detailed run-away-to-foreign-countries-and-drink-and-dance-and-eat fantasies. Not to mention the whole perk of being able to suddenly buy a car, if you had to, should you find yourself stranded in Costa Rica.

All of these things will make your bank manager really happy (and probably encourage him to be very nice to you) but they will actually make you happier, too. You will have circumvented the stress of not knowing if you have enough to pay for the essentials, financial independence can easily support all of the other important kinds of independence, and the guys who matter will find it hotter than being able to change a tire.

Obviously it’s nice to have friends and family on hand to take care of you, but even they will like you much better if they don’t always have to buy your lunch because you’ve spent your entire paycheck on pink champagne and three different colors of the same ballet flat. And you will find that when you do organize your money intelligently that you find yourself with a bit of extra for that amazing bag that is going to last forever. Or even that epic vacation, with the eating and drinking, without having to apply for welfare when you get home.

Fiscal responsibility is not the first thing that most people think of when you think of sexy personality traits, but it’s one of those long run, even after those laugh lines become permanent, sort of admirable qualities. Knowing what you’re spending does not mean never spending any of your money, but doing it thoughtfully, with grace and confidence. So sexy.