Tag: purse

Being a Lady While Being a Lady

There are plenty of things that are perfectly within your realm of control to ensure your perpetual perception as a paragon of class and practical perfection (that was quite a bit of alliteration- I apologize). You can plan your outfits to be weather, event, and circumstantially appropriate. In fact you definitely should, because two out of three of the above is not going to cut it. Your heeled wedges are perfect for the mild summer breezes and the grass at the afternoon outdoor wedding, but if the rustic chic barn is a mile from the freaking parking lot then you will be sweaty and angry with a broken ankle when you make it to cocktail hour. In this situation you should really go with a nice ballet flat and possibly make new friends that realize the wisdom of a shuttle bus.

You can also stock your purse with all of the hydrating mist spray, hand sanitizer, bottle openers, and pens that it will fit. But, first, remember that being that prepared makes for a very heavy bag and sanitizer is not going to help you with imbalanced weight induced scoliosis. It also means it’s really hard to find the things you really do need out of your purse, like keys. Do you really need something else in your bag that possesses the power to explode at an inopportune moment? Pen, paper, and eight tootsie pops are obviously requisite.

woman at work

Then there are the things that we can do nothing about, regardless of all the planning in the world. A door that is too heavy to open when your arms are full of important and precariously balanced papers. Spilling… well there are really an innumerable number of things you can spill. Wardrobe malfunctions. Periods. To continue being a lady in these kinds of scenarios takes commitment and calm. Raging lunatic is not ladylike, solves nothing, and looks good on no one. So put the papers down and then open the door. Asking for help is completely acceptable and is not a threat to global feminism. As for the spilling, a Tide pen should really be one of the pens in your stash- and if you’re like me then a spare shirt is not a bad idea. Wardrobe malfunctions can take many forms but most can be solved with a safety pin, some duct tape, or mole skin. As for periods- do not panic. Assess the crisis, excuse yourself from public interaction, do damage control insofar as you can, and call in reinforcements as necessary.

Maintaining your composure is the real key to being a lady. You are more than anything you have and anything that happens. And there’s always wine.

Purse Personified

You might be aware that I recently acquired a Modalu Pippa handbag. The reason you might know this is that I have been flaunting it rather shamelessly, constantly, brazenly since the moment I got it. I have been lusting after this bag for about three years, something I’m sure you can all relate to (if not the bag, then the lust, certainly). I finally received it from a slightly startled UPS man, and was duly enthused.modalu pippa

Now, most people would remain happy with their purchase, but it’s generally hard to keep up the kind of excitement expressed when you just get something, every time you see and use it. My particular brand of excitement mellowed into a form of appreciation heretofore reserved for pets and family members. I personified it. I don’t know how this happened, it wasn’t a conscious decision, but my purse’s name is Purse, and it’s possible I speak to it occasionally.

Just normal things, like, “You sit there, Purse; can’t have you getting your feet dirty.” Or, “Don’t fall on your face, Purse, you have to stand up and show everyone your hardware.” That last one seems much dirtier as I type it than it did setting my purse next to me in the restaurant.

So far it hasn’t said anything back.

Now, I am supremely aware that this is not normal behavior, but also that there are much stranger things I could be doing. Just look around the next time you’re stopped in traffic. And I can’t honestly say that I want to stop. Not that I’m desperate for leather clad friends with handy zippered pockets, but, for someone who usually relishes having a variety of clothes, jewelry, and shoes that I like, I am really enjoying having one thing I love all the time. (Anyone who would like to draw comparisons or juxtapositions to my twenties and the evolution of my romantic ideals, may.)

I can only hope that one day you find one thing, or dare I say, one person, that makes you light up every time you see it. And I promise not to judge you when you ask it what it thinks of your dress.