Tag: heels

Shoes You Can Walk In

It’s time for all the girls to admit that same of your shoes are not for walking. Maybe guys too? I have no idea. I can’t get a guy to talk about shoes with me. I have gotten some strange looks from my mother, and other people, when I show them some of my favorite pairs of shoes and tell them that they are for sitting. Possibly standing. But not walking. My six inch red leather pumps are gorgeous and sexy and glorious and are intended to get me from house to car, car to venue, where I will then recline fetchingly with my legs crossed to show my super hot shoes off to best advantage.

That said, I now live in a city where walking is my main form of transportation. The red pumps are stashed away because it would have been too heartbreaking to watch them pout on a shelf while I reach for more practical options. Luckily there are some very cute shoes you can actually walk in these days, without someone asking if you’re working out later.

One of my very favorites is the classic flat riding boot.

These riding boots, by Frye, are cute with everything.

You can wear them with jeans or skirts and dresses, just add tights. Or, if you are chronically clumsy, and also cold, like me you can also hide a pair of fuzzy knee high socks and ankle braces under there. And squishy insoles. On top of the tights. I’m full of secrets.

Next up, ballet flats!

London Sole flats are pretty much the creme de la creme.

Not only are they adorable and universally flattering, but they fit in your purse! And no laces or zippers. Drunk girl’s best friend. They are equally cute when you’re sober, so that’s nice, too. And again- toss a pair of foamy insoles in there and there is absolutely no need to suffer for beauty when strolling the outdoor market spanning the never ending street. Perfect back ups to have with you when you think wearing heels all day is just an instance of mind over matter, before finding out its more like fire blisters over toes.

Which brings us to the sandal.

Not too strappy; not too stroppy. Available on Amazon.

When a flip flop just doesn’t cut it because you need  for people to think that you actually wear shoes. But you actually want to show off that you took the time to paint your toes and sit still for longer than you thought was humanly possible. Also a great option for when you do get a blister and it’s literally impossible to wear anything else, but you’re afraid enough of stepping on broken glass and making it worse that you will strap something on.

But sometimes a girl needs a couple inches, so wedges!

You can get some that look exactly like these Christian Louboutins for a rational price.

In the interest of full disclosure you’re probably not going to get the same distance out of these as something flat, more so if you are me and any incline combined with weak ankles is likely to result in a falling over episode at some point. But a nice wedge is both totally formal acceptable and can make it over a few cobblestones with limited mishaps. If you’re really worried about them not being the same as a nice high heel just make sure you are always facing people and they will feel like royalty as you back out of their presence. (Walking backward may increase your chances of falling over though.)

And for when you have fallen over in the wedges, but are still commited to tallness and think you can hide your ankle brace somehow- shoe boots.

So many options these days, like these from Mr.Shoes.

Remember that for these to qualify as walking shoes you do not want supermodels- not too tall and not too thin. Otherwise you might as well just go for the heels. Unless your cold, then high heeled shoe boots could be your thing. But not for walking. No more than 2 1/2 inches on a nice chunky heel, throw those trusty insoles in and you’re practically comfortable.

I tend to stick to a fairly neutral palette for matching purposes. All of these are that little bit easier to walk in when they’re broken in and it’s barely worth it to break in the purple ones. But it is nice to have at least one pair of statement shoes to go with a basic outfit, so leopard flats or any of these with buckles or sparkle embellishments are worth keeping on hand.

Or fuck it and call Uber. Wear whatever shoes you want.

Dating Your Boss

Interviews and dating are exactly the same. You get a call, and someone would like to see you at a predetermined time, preferably looking slightly better than you usually do, to ask you a bunch of personal questions before deciding whether or not they want to commit to spending any more time with you. And you show up and smile and try not to sweat too much while being witty and charming and memorable, concentrating on not accidentally flinging a pen and/or fork at your interrogator. Then you go home, change your shirt, and eat a cake. While you wait for a call that maybe, hopefully they want a second date. Or, dare to dream, they ask you to go steady! And then you have five days a week of repetitive phone calls to look forward to. But then it could all go the other way. No call at all and you just sit there, with your hands clenched, planning alternate futures that all hinge on this one virtual stranger calling you, until you finally consider the one that’s already happening and regret having suppressed that fork flinging impulse. Or, in the rare, mature case you get an email full of lies about how much they like you that ends with “I didn’t pick you”.

If you’re really lucky it’s a blind date and someone who claims to care about you goes out of their way to do you a “favor” by setting you up with their friend, or more likely, some random person they met, and you are now obligated to follow through with this extra strange stranger on pain of ruining your friendship. Now there’s the stress of alienating someone you already decided you like as well as this new goober that you didn’t even get the opportunity to vet for mildly acceptable taste and manners. In all likelihood he does not possess either of those things and now you not only have to extricate yourself from having to talk to this person more than once, but have to deal with the issue of why your friend hates you so much that they wanted to torture you psychologically with the penultimate socially awkward scenario. Now you’re mad, and you feel trapped, and you’re wearing heels for no reason.

Absolutely no part of these scenarios are different when dealing with a potential employer, except (with few exemptions- I hope) the sexpectations. When finally leaving the office I’ve personally never had an interviewer try to stick their tongue down my throat just in case I was into it. Hopefully you want something different from a date than an interviewer, but I’m not one to judge. I don’t have any suggestions for improvement when it comes to dating or interviews, especially since  I’m really not very good at either of them, but I’d be lying if I hadn’t considered the advantages of selling crocheted blankets out of my parents back room and exclusively making out with drunk guys.

And people wonder how I could possibly be single and unemployed.